Hey everyone, it's been a minute since I last blogged about anything. I guess adult life gets in the way sometimes which im most certain you'll probably hear about however, today I wanted to talk about something that is kind of sensitive to me.
I want to talk about this not only to express how I feel but to spark the conversation to see not only how others feel but what their views and opinions are also.
As you can guess by the title "Do you have to come out the closet?" i'm sure you can guess I am going to be talking about sexuality. For those of you who do not know, love has no gender to me which means I am open to dating both men and women but I do not like to fit the category of "Bisexual" ,"gay" , "lesbian" etc fair enough it may be factual from definition but why do I need to be labeled to what society says I am.
Although we may laugh and joke about "bisexuals are greedy" or "They like the best of both worlds" which yet again may also be true it's a stereotype and stigma placed that I would prefer not to be put under. We live in a world where we are almost judged for everything we do and say on a daily basis. Why on earth should we be judged based on who we choose to love and what our sexuality is.
Why do we have to be labeled as anything ? Can human beings not just love who they love without being placed in a box? or am I just being sensitive to the matter who knows. I just don't like the idea of disclosing and fitting a category where society can continue to judge and turn their noses up at your choice of how you choose to live you life and who you choose to love.
Why do we have to disclose our sexuality anyway ? why do people care so much whether or not a person is homosexual, heterosexual or even pansexual. Why do you have to tick a box to state your preferences ? why do people wish you to share such sensitive and private information about your sexuality? It's not only another way to get into your business but it's another way to control and manipulate society which I don't really wish to play a part in personally.
I ask the question " Do you have to come out of the closet" based upon my own personal beliefs and views about the subject. I personally do not agree with it. I feel as though you should be free within your sexuality and not have to sit somebody down in order to understand and state that. We should be able to love who we want freely and whoever that person may be bring them home and our parents out of love and acceptance of whom we are accept that.
I get that in some families and cultures it's frowned upon which may be why things may be a little different or harder to digest but we are all living beings with feelings and emotions. You can not help who you love and that should never be judged or you should never be made to feel as though you are from for your sexuality
I never came out to my mum. I never sat her down and said I was into women or anything of the sort. I simply one day said to her I had been to a party and I had kissed somebody that I had fancied for quite some time. She assumed it was a man. I proceeded to tell her it wasn't and how I had kissed a girl then pretty much from that kiss we started seeing each other.
My mum was shocked as I had never shown any indications that I was actually into women. I honestly don't think that I needed to. Besides, how does a person thats into women act ? am I meant to display certain characteristics of what a textbook bisexual should be? I was confused but nevertheless she knew from then on and that was the end of that per say after she had asked me if she would ever have grandchildren which pissed me off lol.
I think I got annoyed because she was only thinking about what she was either gaining or losing out of me being who I am and not accepting it entirely because this is who I am and who I had choose to love at the time.
However, now I can say she isn't as concerned about whether or not she will have grandkids as sometimes it's good to communicate how you feel or how a person has made you feel and she knows now that, that is a possibility whether I choose to be with a man or woman depending on whether they are the right fit for me that's a whole discussion for another blog post.
Anywho, back to the topic of this blog. Are we actually asking people to accept us by coming out of the closet ? or are we doing it to feel free ? what are the reasons.... this may not even be a conscious question it could be subconsciously also. subconsciously you could be insecure about your sexuality seeking acceptance as you just want to be accepted for who you are. Now I am not saying by any means that everyone is this way. But i'm asking questions that I often ask myself and hope that these questions can be answered through other people's views and feelings.
Do you feel as though you need to come out the closet? Please let me know what you think. More than anything I would encourage people to continue to be true to them and do what makes them happy. You are always your first priority so live your life for you. Do not live life to please your parents as they do not suffer the repercussions of that. You do.
Please let me know what you think and thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read what I write. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. Please share this with your friends and family so I can hear their views. This is a place where freedom of speech is welcomed.